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| Elizabeth Banks and Brooklyn Decker in What to Expect When You’re Expecting |
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| “Dudes Group” of fathers in What to Expect When You’re Expecting |
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| Shirtless Joe Maganiello is one of the best things about living in 2012. |
The radical notion that women like good movies
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| Elizabeth Banks and Brooklyn Decker in What to Expect When You’re Expecting |
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| “Dudes Group” of fathers in What to Expect When You’re Expecting |
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| Shirtless Joe Maganiello is one of the best things about living in 2012. |
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| I don’t want to see the film Oliver Stone will want to make about Romney |
@WealthyDirectors&Producers I know ppl r told 2 “write what u know” & the nxt logical step 4 filmmakers would b 2 “film what u know.” But, stop, we’ve had enuf of rich men.
Erin Fenner is a writer based in Portland. She likes film and feminism and alliteration.
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| The main cast of New Girl |
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| Jess (Zooey Deschanel), Nick (Jake Johnson), Schmidt (Max Greenfield), and Winston (Lamorne Morris) |
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| Jess makes up with Cece (Hannah Simone) |
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| Julia (Lizzy Caplan) and Jess – two clashing personalities |
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| Did you think I would write a whole post about New Girl without a reference to the douchebag jar? |
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| The cast of The Addams Family |
Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they’re real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: Well, I’ll tell you what. I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
Myrna Waldron is a feminist writer/blogger with a particular emphasis on all things nerdy. She lives in Toronto and has studied English and Film at York University. Myrna has a particular interest in the animation medium, having written extensively on American, Canadian and Japanese animation. She also has a passion for Sci-Fi & Fantasy literature, pop culture literature such as cartoons/comics, and the gaming subculture. She maintains a personal collection of blog posts, rants, essays and musings at The Soapboxing Geek, and tweets with reckless pottymouthed abandon at @SoapboxingGeek.
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| Carrie Mathison, a haunted yet brilliant CIA analyst. |
“I hate straight singing. I have to change a tune to my own way of doing it. That’s all I know.”
— Billie Holiday
“So while it is true that jazz is a demanding and competitive field for both men and women, it is also true that a woman who shows up for an audition or jam session with a tenor sax or trumpet in her gig bag is greeted with a special variety of raised eyebrows, curiosity and skepticism. Is she serious? Can she play? Time-worn questions about women and jazz buzz through the room before she blows a note.”
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| Carrie’s personal and professional lives weave together–the professional trumps the personal, but her private battles threaten her career. |
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| Saul serves as a mentor to Carrie. (Patinkin has been outspoken about issues of television and feminism.) |
“It’s ill-becoming for an old broad to sing about how bad she wants it. But occasionally we do.”
— Lena Horne
“Jazz is not just music, it’s a way of life, it’s a way of being, a way of thinking. . . . the new inventive phrases we make up to describe things — all that to me is jazz just as much as the music we play.”— Nina Simone
“Monk was hospitalised at various points in his career due to an unspecified mental illness and there has been some debate about whether he could have had a schizophrenic or bipolar disorder. (In fact, jazz and schizophrenia have long been linked. It is argued that New Orleans cornetist Buddy Bolden, the ‘inventor of jazz’, improvised the music he played as his schizophrenia did not allow him to read music, evolving ragtime into a more free form of music in the process.) It is an association that positions Carrie, who takes anti-psychotics, as a ‘crazy genius’ like Monk.”
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| Nick Brody and Carrie develop a complicated relationship, although her theories of his terrorist involvement were correct. |
“When I was a girl, my friends and I used to play chicken with the train on the tracks near our house and no one could ever beat me, not even the boys.”
“One day a whole damn song fell into place in my head.”— Billie Holiday
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| Carrie chooses to undergo ECT, as she convinces herself in Season 1 that her suspicions about Brody are delusions. |
“Carrie does not suffer from the common female need-to-please trait and, in fact, insists she is usually right. She is impulsive in a job that rewards patience and lies to the few people who can tolerate her…You root for her because those very despicable qualities also make her extraordinarily good at her mission. Danes breathes life and realism into a character who, for once, goes against the clichés of what a female CIA officer is supposed to do and look like.”
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| Carrie is back in action in Season 2, and Saul is listening. |
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| Movie poster for The Master |
Slim at Gone Elsewhere does an excellent job of explaining the plot, so if you don’t know the plot, go there first … then come back here and let me explain to you why this movie is a piece of shit.
I went into it thinking it had the potential to be good because Paul Thomas Anderson made Magnolia, and Magnolia has some wonderfully nuanced and well-developed women characters, so I know he’s capable of not creating films exclusively about white dudes talking about stuff, but fuck, I honestly couldn’t get over his absolute reveling in the incessant blathering of white dudes to other white dudes.
Don’t get me wrong; Joaquin Phoenix’s emotionally disturbed character, Freddie Quell, totally makes a sand-woman on the beach—complete with breasts and spread legs—that he then proceeds to hump and fingerfuck in front of a group of cheering white dudes (even they get uncomfortable after a few seconds of this) before beating off into the oh-so-vast and Oscar-worthy cinematographically-shot ocean, but as far as women characters go, the sexually assaulted sand-woman left a little to be desired.
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| Freddie Quell pinching a sand-woman’s nipple in The Master |
Okay, okay, Amy Adams appears a few times, once to read a naughty sex passage from a book to Freddie—who wouldn’t want to hear Amy Adams say “opening the lips of her cunt” (or something) for no discernible reason?—and she shows up again to jerk off her husband (The Master!) Philip Seymour Hoffman over a fucking bathroom sink, so I don’t want to mislead anyone—women exist in this sea of white dudes talking about stuff, but in between giving handjobs, carrying around infants, defending their men, and gratuitously exposing their breasts to drunk and violent sociopaths, they’re just kinda blah.
I don’t want to mislead anyone. I’m not saying I haven’t exposed a breast or two to a sociopath in my day, but that doesn’t mean I found these ladies relatable, and that includes the violated sand-woman.
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| Amy Adams in The Master, looking pissed |
And I wish I knew what to say about Freddie’s love for a 16-year-old girl named Doris, especially since he looks like he’s in his mid-50s throughout the film. Okay, in fairness, Freddie only interacts with Doris in his memories (because this is art, people), so it makes sense that we never actually get to see Doris age. (But still, Freddie was either like 30 when she was 16, or they should’ve hired some better fucking makeup artists.)
Regardless of the potential statutory rape situation, Freddie can’t seem to get over his First Love because then we wouldn’t have the quintessential white dude movie plot dilemma: there’s a girl he can’t have, or a girl who died, or a girl he lost, or a girl he has to save—if there’s one thing we all know about films about white dudes talking about stuff, it’s that women emotionally fuck up white dudes so hard!
Eeeek, bitches, can we cool it already?
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| Doris and Freddie in Freddie’s creepy memory/flashback in The Master |
This film will probably win a million Oscars and other accolades because the people who determine award winners in Hollywood are white dudes who like watching movies about other white dudes talking about stuff. And the critics lauding this film? They’re mostly white dudes who like helping white dudes who determine award winners in Hollywood vote for movies about white dudes talking about stuff. So yeah, expect this to grace the list of Best Picture Oscar Nominees.
Getting back to this movie being a piece of shit, here’s the thing: a million people will say, “Stephanie, you obviously just don’t get this film. It’s genius! You don’t understand art! It’s a metaphor for the ways in which religion and absolute power corrupt! These dudes are supposed to be awful!” Perhaps all of that is true. Except, of course, for the fact that none if it is true.
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| Freddie Quell, boom |
Okay, on a less pissy day, I might go along with the argument that Anderson is attempting a successful metaphor regarding men and religion and corruption, but that doesn’t blind me to the fact that he ultimately uses women characters tropes of women to move forward the fairly boring plight of white dudes struggling with … something. I certainly don’t buy the argument either that this is just how things were back then i.e. whenever this film is supposed to take place; there’s an important difference between depicting a time period and straight-up worshiping it.
The point is, if your film contains about three speaking women total (oh, and a woman made of sand), and each of these women is constantly doing one of the following—standing by her man, carrying around babies, jerking dudes off, existing only in the occasional flashback, lying on a couch and talking about how she remembers a penis poking her when she was still a fetus in the womb—or, if she’s a literal fucking object (i.e. she’s made out of sand), then your film suffers from, at the very least, lazy writing.
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| The Master and his ladies |
Yes, I just said that Paul Thomas Anderson, creator of There Will Be Blood (white dudes all over the place), Boogie Nights (a movie about a white dude with a giant cock), Hard Eight (white dudes), Punch Drunk Love (a movie about a white dude phone sex operator pimp or whatever), and Magnolia (a movie in which we get to hear famous white dude Tom Cruise tell us to “respect the cock”), got particularly lazy with his women characters in this one. Movies made by a white dude about white dudes talking about stuff—stuff like power and corruption in capitalism and religion, for instance—can succeed (There Will Be Blood)—just leave the fucking recycled caricatures of women out of it (There Will Be Blood).
Of course, then we wouldn’t be treated to last-line-of-the-film-gems like this:
Freddie (talking to a woman while she’s riding him): “You’re the bravest girl I’ve ever met. Now stick it back in, it fell out.”
If you want a different, slightly more intellectual (ha) take on The Master, you should read this review by Didion, who writes “… this film shows that Anderson has a lot more sensitivity toward women than his prior films would suggest.”
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| Preach it! |
Two Broke Girls is like your white gay friend who thinks he’s entitled to say whatever he pleases because he’s been oppressed, so he’s allowed to oppress other people and call it being an “equal opportunity offender.” He’s earned the right to be a racist, insensitive asshole, because I guess he asked Audre Lorde and she said it was okay?
Remember hipster racism? This is that turned up to 11, like Murphy throwing a big blackface party on TV. However, the biggest issue with pointing it out is that people often don’t realize that such “ironic racism” is still just racism. And what actually makes the show’s gaycism so doubly troubling is that the act of being systemically oppressed should make people more aware of the ways in which they have the ability to marginalize others, because they have experienced the same thing themselves.
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| The first presidential debate between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama |
The first presidential debate between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney was much less intriguing than every pundit and media ogler alike was hoping for. We wanted zingers and gaffes, but had to settle for the mildly miffed, but embarrassingly unassertive, Jim Lehrer. The NewsHour host may have gotten memed even more than the candidates since the debate. But, sorry Big Bird, even an outraged PBS isn’t that interesting.
Stephanie‘s Picks:
Gaycism and the New Normal: The “Hot” Trend This TV Season Is Bigotry by Nico Lang via In Our Words
Caroline Thomson: BBC Still Has Work to Do on Sexism and Ageism by Emma Barnett via The Telegraph
Presidential Debate Commission Co-Chair Blames TV Networks for Lack of Diversity Among Moderators by Tracie Powell via Poynter
Where the Girls Aren’t: What the Absence of Female Friendships on Network TV Reveals by Sheila Moeschen via Huffington Post
Joss Whedon’s S.H.I.E.L.D Show Will Feature A Lot of Women by Alyssa Rosenberg via ThinkProgress
Women in Film: A Feminist’s Take by Riley Stevenson via Flux Magazine
What Do Feminists Have Left?: The Factuary
“Ugh, What’s Up With All These Feminists Being Funny?” Says Chronically Unfunny Woman by Erin Gloria Ryan via Jezebel
Megan‘s Picks:
Amy Poehler’s Systematic Dismantling of the Emmys by Alex Cranz via FemPop
When Will the Media Start Portraying Black Women Without Betraying Them? by Tracey Ross via Racialicious
Rebel Wilson, Pitch Perfect and Body Acceptance by Kerensa Cadenas via Women and Hollywood
Awkward Black Girl‘s Issa Rae Gets a Sitcom with Shonda Rhimes’ Help by Alex Cranz via FemPop
Funny Women Flourish in Female-Written Comedies by Sandy Cohen via The Boston Globe
The Best Quotes from Tina Fey’s Entertainment Weekly Interview by Kerensa Cadenas via Women and Hollywood
DGA Report Shows Few Strides for Female and Minority TV Directors by Richard Verrier via The Los Angeles Times
Raising Hope Star Martha Plimpton on Politics in Television and The War on Women by Alyssa Rosenberg via ThinkProgress
What have you been reading this week?? Tell us in the comments!
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| Seth MacFarlane, unpleasant person and recently-announced host of the 85th Annual Academy Awards |
2. Billy Ray Cyrus
3. James Franco in a wig made from Anne Hathaway’s Les Mis chop
4. Tom Brokaw after half an Ambien
5. A brigade of mimes from Cirque du Soleil
6. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon [The 90s are BACK, people!]
7. On that note, how about reuniting the dynamic duo of the 1994 Oscars:
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| Sam Jackson can play the popcorn. |
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| That blue bodybuilder dude from Prometheus |
In addition to my hobbies of watching films and cartoons, I like reading comics. Sometimes I read the highbrow stuff like Maus or Persepolis, and sometimes I read trash. Complete and utter bullshit. One of the longstanding traditions of the Something Awful Forums is its Political Cartoon Thread, which is an ongoing discussion of how the mainstream media interprets political debate through metaphor and imagery. And by that, I mean they find the worst cartoonists possible and make fun of them. Somehow all the really bad cartoonists are conservative! I couldn’t imagine why that could be, could you?
And if there’s one thing conservatives have made themselves known for lately, it’s just how well they understand the issues of women. It’s like there’s a War on Women or something. And if there’s one thing I’ve noticed, it’s that white dudes seem to have a particularly nuanced understanding of what it is to be a modern woman facing such issues as birth control, abortion, and sexual harassment. See how well the following white dudes represent their totally well thought out opinions:

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| “Arrested for choking Lindsay Lohan?” “For not finishing the job.” |
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| “Banned cooking fats… No smoking in bars… Laws against paddling my kids.. Now you’re going to make me give my daughters a shot that may prevent cervical cancer. Government involvement in my everyday life is really starting to worry me!” |
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| Which is more important? Free birth control or FREEDOM? |
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| I’m not going to bother transcribing this. Just imagine a ton of Men’s Rights bullshit. |
I’ll forgive you if you can’t make heads-nor-tails of this. Chris Muir’s “Day By Day” is a webcomic about Zed (who looks suspiciously like Muir), his half-Irish half-Japanese wife Sam, her liberal sister…somebody, her centrist best friend…someone else, and the centrist’s black husband Black Mouthpiece. Fun fact: None of these people (except the self-insert) exist, but Muir likes using his fictional women and fictional black guy to espouse incomprehensible political opinions that stepped right out of the MRA subreddit. He also draws these women with enormous heaving breasts, pokey nipples and they’re constantly pregnant. It’s rather adorable how a middle-aged single conservative copes, isn’t it?
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| Democrats Try To Court Modern Women “Hey there groovy lady…I’m down with the cause…free love…” |
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| “Why are you so upside down on the FREE birth control issue?” “Keep your WOMB out of my WALLET!” |
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| “Stay out of my uterus, government!! …That is, right after paying for my free birth control.” |
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| Young Woman’s Values Class – Plan A: Responsibility, Family Planning, Self Esteem, Keeping A Good Reputation. Plan B: The Chance To Act Like A Drunken Whore |
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| A 14-year-old girl is pregnant by her 21-year-old boyfriend. Shouldn’t someone have to pay for this? The fetus and the taxpayer, of course! |
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| Paterno knew about a sexual predator and is a “Scumbag.” Clinton got a blowjob. That’s worse. |
So you see, White Male Conservatives truly understand how the world works. We silly women just don’t get it. They have penises, they make the rules. They get to have all the sex, we are just allowed to lie there and put up with it. And we’d better have as many babies as humanly possible, or we’re SLUTS. And don’t forget it. Also, Sandra Fluke sucks. The White Dudes have spoken.
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| Jennifer Livingston delivers a poignant editorial. |
The truth is, I am overweight. You can call me fat — and yes, even obese on a doctor’s chart. But to the person who wrote me that letter, do you think I don’t know that? That your cruel words are pointing out something that I don’t see? …Now I am a grown woman, and luckily for me I have a very thick skin, literally — as that email pointed out — and otherwise. That man’s words mean nothing to me, but really angers me about this is is there are children who don’t know better — who get emails as critical as the one I received or in many cases, even worse, each and every day. …
I leave you with this: To all of the children out there who feel lost, who are struggling with your weight, with the color of your skin, your sexual preference, your disability, even the acne on your face, listen to me right now. Do not let your self-worth be defined by bullies. Learn from my experience — that the cruel words of one are nothing compared to the shouts of many.
—
Leigh Kolb is a composition, literature and journalism instructor at a community college in rural Missouri.