Tag: Movie Posters

Movie Posters: Are You Ready for Death/Love/Prison?

The Throat

Ladies, if you want to marry, date, fuck, and/or kill a man, getting dangerously close to the jugular is totally the way to go. That way, you can scare him into loving/dying (it’s apparently the same thing). Also, hold him down or push him against the wall; that’s the best way to ensure he’s freaked out enough to effectively fall into your loving and/or borderline stalker-murderous-psychotic arms.

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The Back

Awww, girls, look how quirky-cute you are, with your legs wrapped around your man (you can’t get away now, boys!) or your breasts on the verge of popping out of your mini-tank slash sports bra into the face of the guy you’re using as a tabletop. And these posters tell me so much about the films, too! Really:

1) your man is going to carry you away from your god-awful once man-less life
2) you’re going to ride the shit out of your man while … possibly selling your body?
3) boobs

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The Rope

First of all, the women of Blind Dating clearly represent all women that a man might potentially have the pleasure of one day blind dating. There are no female stereotypes in this poster at all whatsoever. And my god isn’t he so completely gorgeous and worthy of all this hot-girl worship? This poster doesn’t remind me at all whatsoever of films with average-joe male leads who somehow end up in a clusterfuck of girl-stalk. That would, in fact, be a ridiculous concept in general, one that would definitely never hold up as an actual movie plot. And Four Christmases, thanks for the Christmas present illustration. I’m not quite sure which obvious rom-com bullshit I’m supposed to take from that—their relationship is a gift? they’re in it together? ohmigod don’t leave me?—but thanks. Seriously, thanks.

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The Gag

See what women do, boys? Emasculate. Dominate. Take away your ability to, you know, speak. And don’t they look like they’re having a blast doing it?

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The Tie
Pretty Woman and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past are separated by, what, twenty years? Yet it’s the same. fucking. poster. Well, the newer version contains the bachelor’s previous girlfriends, looking all suspicious and conniving, like women do. But both posters still give off that grab-your-man-by-the-leash vibe. He needs to be tamed. By you. Before he can settle down and give you that nuclear family and ultimate feeling of completeness that all women desire. And Jennifer Aniston, every guy’s girl-next-door-girl, will totally either strangle Ben Stiller or help him loosen up and have fun! You go girl! If he needs changing and/or saving, you’re certainly the woman to do it.

Movie Posters: A Bitch Flicks Verbal Beatdown

Dear Filmmakers, Movie Promoters, Marketing Teams, Poster Designers, et al:

Recently, I spent some time gathering movie posters for several of last year’s top-grossing films. I noticed that in movies with male leads, the posters usually featured them prominently, with either up-close shots of their faces (smiling in a mocking “I’m hilarious!” way, or looking pretty bad-ass, like they’re about to do some shit). Or, the posters showed full-body shots of them already engaged in some kind of action.

That led me to wonder about the movie posters with female leads and whether they would contain the same elements. I did some research, looking for movie posters that featured lead actresses, and making it a point to leave out the most offensive posters (extreme close-ups of body parts, etc) of which there were many. I specifically looked for posters where the female lead took up most, if not all of it, and I tried to favor facial close-ups.

In case you weren’t aware, many of the less offensive promotional movie posters featured below still led me to believe at least one of the following about the lead actress’s potential role in the film:

A. she will spend most of her time in the movie trying to fuck someone

B. she will spend most of her time in the movie trying to get fucked by someone

C. she will spend most of her time in the movie trying to kill someone

D. she will spend most of her time in the movie trying to avoid getting killed

E. she will spend most of her time in the movie trying to avoid killing herself

F. she will spend most of her time in the movie being adorable

I’m curious as to whether this was intentional, or if you’ve internalized so much of our cultural hatred toward women that you subconsciously cast them as passive objects rather than active subjects, even in cases where the actresses play very active roles in the films. (Case in point: The Pelican Brief. In this film, Julia Roberts spends some of the time trying to avoid getting killed and the rest of the time completely blowing open a government fucking conspiracy. Yet the poster merely suggests ohmygod fear.)

I will concede that there are certainly cases where the lead actress actually plays a passive object, but for the most part, that’s not the case. And for the record, using these posters to portray the leading ladies as seductresses and/or sexy yet crazed-looking potential serial killers does not constitute an active subject. Please advise.

Love,

Bitch Flicks

P.S. It’s fine with us if you want to put more women of color on movie posters. But that would require giving them their own movies, wouldn’t it?

Movie Posters: Bad Boys vs Bad Girls

The Spirit has all kinds of shit wrong with it. According to these movie posters, Samuel L. Jackson apparently plays a gun-wielding, trench coat wearing badass, who most definitely takes an active role, probably killing people who made the unfortunate mistake of trying to face his power. On the other hand Eva Mendes plays … um … a woman, who … um … has a long neck and um … pretty lips … and um … she has been a very, very bad girl.

For a while, I thought Sin City and The Spirit were the same movie. Same marketing. Same brooding male action hero with a gun, risking his life in the rain for god’s sake. Same beautiful and, don’t forget, merciless woman who will obviously take people down with her tongue and her manipulative vagina. In the rain.

Yes, I realize these posters aren’t from the same film. But I believe they’re relevant to each other, in that these actors both star in these movies, and receive top billing. Also, the posters feature them both holding some seriously gigantic guns, and something tragic with America is probably occurring … flags, Las Vegas, extinction, “public enemies,” evil, etc. Yet we get Depp in a full suit, complete with trench coat, black leather gloves, and a hat, while Jovovich barely made it off the stripper pole in time to grab a couple of guns and destroy some shit. And watch out, she might be coming to do bad things to you, boys, hehe! (But what the hell is Depp looking at?)

Star Trek, revised taglines:

Man: I’m going to murder the fuck out of you.

Woman: I’m going to fuck the shit out of you.

What’s with the men on these posters looking away (Depp, this guy, Law, Owen) while most of the women stare head-on? I’ll tell you: the male gaze, baby! These women are straight-up going to do you. Men have more important things on their minds, like taking action, looking for action, or looking right at you in that “I’m about to kill some bitches” kind of way (which, yes, is problematic in its own right). But in fairness, even though the G.I. Joe poster objectifies the woman by depicting her entire backside, the poster with the man isn’t much better. Check out his chest! I’ll admit it; this poster sorta makes me want to do him.