This guest post by Katie Bender is part of our theme week on Bad Mothers.
Irina: “You should know something, Sydney. I never wanted to have a child. The KGB demanded it. They knew it would ensure [your father’s] allegiance to me. You were simply a means to an end. And then when the doctor put you in my arms and I looked at you, so fragile, all I could think was, how could I have made such a terrible mistake. And at that moment I was sure of one thing. I couldn’t be an agent and a mother. I’d either fail at one or both. And I chose to fail at being a mother. In time you’ll learn…you can’t do both.”
Sydney: “Watch me.”
—“Maternal Instinct”
In setting up the story of Sydney Bristow, grad student/covert CIA officer, J.J. Abrams’ television series Alias hit a lot of the usual spy-story stand-bys: glamorous locales, top secret missions, high-tech gadgets, and for the main character, a measure of isolation. Sydney’s friends and fiancé are unaware of her double life, and with parents out of the picture (mother dead, father estranged) she has no family around. Then her fiancé’s casual mention of children raises the inherent conflict between Sydney’s career as a spy and her potential future as a mother. This conflict drives Sydney’s arc and establishes a recurring question at the heart of Alias: can you be both a mother and a spy?
Irina Derevko: “You must have known this day would come. I could have prevented all this, of course. You were so small when you were born. It would have been so easy.”
—“The Enemy Walks In”
Sydney’s own mother Irina figures powerfully into this conflict. The revelation that Irina is not only alive, but a former KGB officer who abandoned her family by faking her own death, shatters Sydney’s idealized view of her mother. Irina’s reunion with her daughter is anything but tender – she ends their interview by shooting Sydney – and from her first lines she makes it clear that she chose a spy career over motherhood a long time ago. For Irina, motherhood and espionage are mutually exclusive, regardless of her personal feelings for Sydney.
Irina Derevko: “I need you to understand, I was eighteen when the KGB recruited me. For a woman to be asked to serve her country it was a future. It meant empowerment, independence. I was a fool to think that any ideology could come before my daughter. Sydney…”
—“The Abduction”
Yet Irina’s arc throughout Alias is the tension between her desire for a relationship with her daughter and her independence as a spy. As she becomes a larger part of Sydney’s life, she makes genuine attempts to forge a connection with her daughter, even expressing regret at the things she missed in Sydney’s childhood. She acts with concern for Sydney’s well-being, shows pride in her daughter’s accomplishments and, in a few rare moments, allows a flicker of vulnerability to show. Perhaps most significantly, despite her acknowledgement of her decision to pursue espionage over motherhood, she consistently self-identifies as Sydney’s mother and asserts that relationship repeatedly throughout the span of the show.
Sydney Bristow: “You orchestrated the whole thing, because you wanted this. And when… When you couldn’t torture it out of me, you came to me as my mother.“
Irina Derevko: “I am your mother.”
—“Maternal Instinct”
But while Irina may be seeking some measure of redemption in her daughter’s eyes, she’s not looking to change. Each time the choice between motherhood and her life as a spy recurs throughout the series, Irina invariably prioritizes espionage over her daughter. Her attempts to connect with Sydney, sincere though they are, serve an additional purpose of allowing her to acquire classified intel which leads her to abandon her daughter a second time. She risks her freedom to deliver Sydney’s baby, but reaffirms her choice to Sydney in dialogue. Irina’s ambiguous morality throughout the show makes her a fascinating character, and in watching her fight to build a relationship with her daughter in spite of her choices, it’s hard not to have a measure of sympathy for her.
Irina Derevko: “You’re too forgiving, Sydney. Don’t pretend I’m something I’m not. I’ve never been a real mother to you and… you don’t owe me a second chance.”
—“A Free Agent”
Still, in the end, the show determines that Irina’s choices have placed her beyond saving. As her choices are portrayed largely through the lens of Sydney’s experience, every decision Irina makes that elevates her own desires above her relationships is viewed as a failing. Ultimately, her choice of her lifelong ambition over her daughter proves her downfall. Her failure is driven home in the series finale as Sydney is shown surrounded by her own children, about to set off on a mission – the picture of a successful spy mom having it all. Perhaps, as the show suggests, Irina’s decision between espionage and family was a false dichotomy all along. Or perhaps it is through Irina’s struggle that Sydney is able to discern her own path as both spy and mother.
Katie Bender is a musician and writer in the Seattle area, where she collaborates with her co-author/ruthless editor Jennifer Hughes.