Sandy Cohen: Father, Husband, Friend, and Feminist Ally

When you think about feminism in television, The OC and teen soaps in general are probably not the first example to come to mind. If you’re not familiar with The OC, it’s about a troubled youth named Ryan Atwood (Ben McKenzie) who is taken in by the Cohens, a very wealthy family, after his own family has abandoned him. I’m very passionate about The OC and it is much more than that, but I shall not digress (or at least try not to). The Cohens are comprised of Kirsten (Kelly Rowan), a wonderful mother as well as a successful architect and businesswoman, Seth (Adam Brody), the awkward and endearing pop-culture-referencing son, and Sandy (Peter Gallagher), a righteous public defender, father, and husband.

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This guest post by Victor Kirksey-Brown appears as part of our theme week on Male Feminists and Allies.

When you think about feminism in television, The OC and teen soaps in general are probably not the first example to come to mind. If you’re not familiar with The OC, it’s about a troubled youth named Ryan Atwood (Ben McKenzie) who is taken in by the Cohens, a very wealthy family, after his own family has abandoned him. I’m very passionate about The OC and it is much more than that, but I shall not digress (or at least try not to). The Cohens are comprised of Kirsten (Kelly Rowan), a wonderful mother as well as a successful architect and businesswoman, Seth (Adam Brody), the awkward and endearing pop-culture-referencing son, and Sandy (Peter Gallagher), a righteous public defender, father, and husband.

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Now that we’ve got some of the basics down, I’ll get to why Sandy Cohen is a feminist and an ally to the movement. First of all, as previously mentioned, he is a public defender and is always fighting for the underdog. He strives for equality and justice for all, even if it’s for his ruthless neighbor Julie Cooper (Melinda Clarke) or coldhearted father-in-law Caleb Nichol (Alan Dale). He simply never refuses to help and always tries his best to do what’s right. Judging from that description alone, it’s clear to see that Sandy is an ally.

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When it comes to married life, Sandy and his wife Kirsten break all conventions. Kirsten is the main and sometimes sole financial provider. She helps run her father’s company, the Newport Group, a company mostly involved in real estate and housing development, making her and her family millionaires. Kirsten is also a terrible cook and by far the stricter parent. She does the majority of the grounding and often says Sandy has a “hippie” way of parenting. However, Sandy is always supportive of her; he loves that Kirsten is successful at what she does. The only time he ever wants Kirsten to quit her job is when he sees that it’s making her unhappy, and still he doesn’t tell her to quit and stay at home, he knows she values work and suggests she goes into business for herself and get away from her manipulative and controlling father. As long as Kirsten is happy with what she’s doing, Sandy could care less about who makes more money. He’s happy doing the cooking and being a stay-at-home dad. When Kirsten’s ex Jimmy Cooper (Tate Donovan) tells him, “You live in a fantasyland, you’re married to the richest girl in the county, you live in a house you’ve never paid for, you get fired–Kirsten wouldn’t even notice it! You have no idea what it’s like to provide for a family!” Sandy simply responds, “I think there’s more to providing for a family than money.” This stands out because it not only displays that a father can have a role in a family other than bread winner and still be a great dad, but it also says the same for mothers. This statement stands up for all the stay-at-home moms, arguing that just because you may not bring in a lot of money, doesn’t mean that your role is any less important in the family.

Another testament to Sandy and Kirsten’s marriage as well as Sandy’s inner feminist, is the way that they dealt with their marital problems. When another man threatens to come between them in the second season, Sandy never goes the route of slut shaming Kirsten or attacking her character in anyway. He chooses to trust Kirsten, to look at the things he’s done wrong that could have caused a rift between him and his wife, and he and Kirsten work together to fix their problems. No matter what issues they’re facing, whether it be Sandy’s law firm suing the Newport Group, differences in parenting techniques, Kirsten’s drinking problem, or deciding whether or not to move back to their small home in Berkley (small being relative to their Newport mansion), Sandy never tried to pull being the alpha or “man of the house.” Sandy and Kirsten always effectively communicated with one another and made decisions together as a team.

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Sandy was a man that many people went to for help, and he would provide guidance time and time again without judgment. Instead of vilifying Dawn (Ryan’s biological mom, played by Daphne Ashbrook) and casting her out as a bad mother, Sandy searched for her and when he found her, he sympathized and tried to understand the reasons she left Ryan. Sandy never judges her for her decisions, even when Kirsten does. He and Kirsten do their best to help Dawn get back on her feet and reunite Ryan and his mother. In the end, for the sake of the show, Dawn decides that Ryan is better off with the Cohens, but Sandy never attacks her character and he and Kirsten continue to encourage Ryan to reach out to Dawn when he’s ready.

In the second season, when that ruthless neighbor Julie comes to Sandy for help because her ex, a porn producer, is trying to extort her with a pornographic film she starred in, Sandy helps her without question. Despite Sandy and Julie being far from buddies, Sandy never judges her for making a porn film and doesn’t think any less of her for it. He understands why she made it, and understands why she would like to keep it secret from her husband and two daughters (,though he does encourage her to tell her husband and allow him to help her.) He also lets her know that, even though she may view the film as a mistake, she shouldn’t be ashamed of it and she should try to trust her family with it.

Also in the second season, when Renee Wheeler (Kathleen York) reveals that she and Caleb have a love-child together, Lindsay (Shannon Lucio), from an affair they had while she was his secretary, Sandy helps her. Even though she’s going to cause a major divide in his family, he doesn’t attack her or judge her, he helps her do what’s right and pushes to make the reveal as easy of a process as it can possibly be.

Sandy never tires to coerce or manipulate any of the women who he helps. His help isn’t always selfless, but he doesn’t try to use his help as a play for power which is a route often taken by men in positions to help women on television.

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Another great thing about Sandy is that he does his best to dissuade Ryan from being hyper-masculine and thinking he always has to save the day. To Ryan’s defense, this doesn’t come from him thinking he has to be a macho man, but rather from the fact that he grew up being the most responsible person in his household. He’s used to stepping in and taking control of a situation and Sandy helps him to realize that that isn’t always his job. When Sandy sees that Ryan is involving himself too much with Marissa’s (Mischa Barton) problems in the first season he tells him, “Marissa is going to have to figure this out on her own, and you gotta let her. You’re here with us now. You don’t have to be the parent anymore.” When Ryan finds out Theresa’s (Navi Rawat) boyfriend is physically abusing her, Sandy encourages Ryan not to resort to violence to try and resolve the problem, but to use his head. “Theresa has to decide on her own to leave Eddie. You can’t force her. …I’ve seen way too many kids just like him and I know that it will not be you to suddenly make him change.” Though it takes Ryan until the third season to fully take these teachings to heart, he does eventually get it. With Sandy’s help Ryan realizes that women are fully capable of handling their own problems and that he doesn’t always have to step in. Everyone needs help now and then, but you have to also allow people to help themselves.

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There are a other, more obvious male feminist allies I can think of in television, Ron Swanson, Eric “Coach” Taylor, and Cliff Huxtable to name a few, but I grew up watching soap operas with my mom and I LOVE teen soaps. Seeing a character like Sandy Cohen in the teen soap genre is rare and something I consider very important. It shows young women (the core audience of this genre) that they should not allow the men in their lives, whether it be their brothers, fathers, uncles, boyfriends, teachers or whoever, to view them as someone always needing to be guided and saved. It allows them to see that a relationship should be a partnership and that they shouldn’t be expected to aim low to avoid hurting some guy’s ego or stand on a higher moral ground because they’re a woman.

I grew up surrounded by an abundance of strong female role models and seeing a male character on television that respects women, doesn’t consider powerful women to be a threat to his manhood, and just generally treats women as equals is something that stood out to me and that I admired. As a male viewer I looked up to Sandy Cohen because he exhibited all these traits and helped to further instill them in me. I still strive to one day be at least half the husband, father, and friend that Sandy is.

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If you’ve never seen The OC, I highly recommend giving it a try and if you have, I recommend watching it again…and again…and again. I’ve learned a lot from it and fell in love with its characters and I think that you will too. I’ll leave you with a mash-up I found of some of Sandy Cohen’s best advice.

 


 Victor Kirksey-Brown lives in Minneapolis, Minn.