“I Love You More Than My Luggage”: Female Friendships and Fertility

The implication of the relative richness of the representations of female friendships at either end of the fertile period is that at these times the female is free to explore relationships which are not sexual but during the fertile period the female’s most important relationships are sexual. This is damaging and dangerous as it is a structural reinforcement of the objectification of women. We only see our friendships represented on screen when we are no longer of use to the patriarchy, when we have either yet to serve our function or have already performed our reproductive duties. It is only in the margins that we are free to pursue our own interests.

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This guest post by Joanne Bardsley appears as part of our theme week on Female Friendship.

Female friendships in film are marginal affairs in almost every sense. Hollywood blockbusters rarely pass the Bechdel test. Films that explore female friendships are generally made by smaller production companies and destined for independent cinemas; they exist on the margins of the entertainment industry.

The marginalised place of female friendships in film extends to the timing of the friendship. Many films that genuinely explore the complexity of female friendship, which allow it to move beyond stereotypical female behaviour, site these relationships on the “margins” of life, on the periods either side of fertility.

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In Steel Magnolias (dir. Ross, 1989), for example, Ouiser (Shirley MacLaine) and Clairee (Olympia Dukakis) squabble, criticise, tease, and trick one another. In the final scenes of the film, Clairee offers Ouiser as a punching bag to M’Lynn (Sally Field). Ouiser is offended, but eventually signals her forgiveness of Clairee by pushing her off a bench. This relationship may have its caring, mutually supportive aspects, but it admits the possibility of violence and aggression. There are other, more conventional, even stereotypical, female friendships in the film where the relationship is based on mutual support, emotional intimacy and empathy. What marks this relationship out is that both parties are well beyond their fertile years.

The complex and shifting nature of mature friendships is also seen in The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (dir. Khouri, 2002). Again, these are friendships that have lasted decades. The Ya-Yas keep each other’s secrets and support each other as is common in the representations of younger female relationships, but they also threaten and swear at each other. The swearing and threats indicate the durability of the relationships between the women. They are able to test the friendship because they trust to its ability to survive. Again, the representation moves beyond the stereotypical traits of female friendship, and again, the friends are post-menopausal.

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On the other side of the fertile period, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (dir. Kwapis, 2005) explores a friendship that has developed through the years of childhood and is about to be tested as the friends move into adulthood. The friendship here begins before birth (their mothers all attend the same prenatal classes). The film’s catchphrase–“Together apart”–acknowledges that adulthood will probably separate the friends physically and mentally. The film attempts to promise that the friendship will be strong enough to survive these separations, yet offers little explanation of how that will happen. They are now fertile, so the main focus of their lives must shift. They must find suitable mates, bear and raise children; they must perform the primary functions of the female.

For some females, these primary functions are denied and they must exist in the margins for their whole lives. Ladies in Lavender (dir. Dance, 2004) invites us to pity these women. The elderly sisters Janet and Ursula (Maggie Smith and Judi Dench) live a peaceful life together until their relationship is disrupted by Ursula’s sexual longing for a young violinist (Daniel Bruhl) they rescue from the sea. Ursula’s desires are shown as futile and inappropriate until she speaks about the lack of men in her life. All the men with whom she could have had a relationship have been killed in the First World War. At this point our feelings change from disgust to pity. We become willing to sympathise with her passion for the young man; after all, her only meaningful relationship is a friendship with her sister. At the end of the film she chooses to leave the young musician with his new friends in the city and returns to her provincial, marginalised existence, relying on her friendship with her sister for her primary emotional bond.

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The implication of the relative richness of the representations of female friendships at either end of the fertile period is that at these times the female is free to explore relationships which are not sexual but during the fertile period the female’s most important relationships are sexual. This is damaging and dangerous as it is a structural reinforcement of the objectification of women. We only see our friendships represented on screen when we are no longer of use to the patriarchy, when we have either yet to serve our function or have already performed our reproductive duties. It is only in the margins that we are free to pursue our own interests.

 


Jo Bardsley is a behaviour specialist in an inner city London school. She has a BA in English and a Masters in Education.

Reproductive Rights in ‘Orphan Black’ Season 2

What’s shaping up to be the forefront theme in ‘Orphan Black’ season two is reproductive rights. Of all the clones, Sarah is an anomaly because she was able to give birth to Kira when all her clone counterparts are infertile. The seemingly impossible birth of Kira has the forces of science and religion both vying for access and control over clone bodies.

Orphan Black Season 2
Orphan Black Season 2

Written by Amanda Rodriguez.

I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I continue to be a fan of Orphan Black into its second season. My review of season oneOrphan Black: It’s All About the Ladies–focuses on the strength and wide range of female characters that the show revolves around (not to mention Tatiana Maslany‘s formidable acting talents as she portrays all of the clones). In season two, the compelling female relationships continue to be integral to the heart of Orphan Black‘s plotlines. In particular, we see a deepening of Cosima’s connection to and lingering distrust of her monitor, Delphine.

Can Cosima trust her lover and monitor Delphine?
Can Cosima trust her lover and monitor Delphine?

 

We also delve into the dark past of Sarah’s foster mother Mrs. S, full of secrets, violence, and questionable intentions.

Is Mrs. S helping or hurting Sarah and Kira?
Is Mrs. S helping or hurting Sarah and Kira?

 

We also meet a new and powerful clone, Rachel, who works for the dubious cloning research corporation, Dyad, and who doesn’t seem to feel a kinship with her fellow clones.

Sarah and Rachel get off on the wrong foot
Clone-Off: Sarah and Rachel

 

We also see more of Sarah coming into her own as a responsible, present parent for her medical miracle daughter, Kira. Though Felix is not a woman, his close relationship with foster sister Sarah and his queerness seem to get him into the inner circle of Clone Club, and it’s always a pleasure to watch scenes where he calls Sarah on her shit, is nurturing to Kira, is hilarious, and remains fabulous the whole time.

Felix: King of the Smart Asses
Felix: King of the Smart Asses

 

What’s shaping up to be the forefront theme in Orphan Black season two is reproductive rights. Of all the clones, Sarah is an anomaly because she was able to give birth to Kira when all her clone counterparts are infertile. The seemingly impossible birth of Kira has the forces of science and religion both vying for access and control over clone bodies. Yes, a pitched battle between science and religion is mounting over the reproductivity of female bodies. Sound familiar? Art imitating life perhaps…

The Prometheans, a religious cult, attempt to bind Helena to their cause
The Prometheans, a religious cult, attempt to bind Helena to their cause

 

Both the Prometheans (religious nutjobs) and the Dyads (cold, calculating scientists) are deceptive, selfish, and don’t see the clones as autonomous human beings. Our heroines must navigate these treacherous forces that seek to exploit them. Even more remarkable is the way in which the clones fight back by using these forces for their own gains by gathering, stealing, and manipulating resources and information in order to better understand themselves: their origin, DNA, and purpose. From within a system that attempts to abuse and dehumanize them, these woman are making their own way, living by their own rules, and relying on their collective strength to survive. Now that, my friends, is a feminism.

 

Read also: Orphan Black: It’s All About the Ladies and The Male/Female Gaze on BBC America’s First Season of Orphan Black


Bitch Flicks writer and editor Amanda Rodriguez is an environmental activist living in Asheville, North Carolina. She holds a BA from Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio and an MFA in fiction writing from Queens University in Charlotte, NC. She writes all about food and drinking games on her blog Booze and Baking. Fun fact: while living in Kyoto, Japan, her house was attacked by monkeys.