Read This Before You Rewatch ‘Friends’

The complete series of ‘Friends’ is coming to Netflix Jan. 1, 2015, and I’m sure many of you are planning to spend your NYE hangover with the old gang. Lucky for you, I started my personal ‘Friends’ series rewatch in September, and finished last night, just in time to warn you of some of the pitfalls you may experience over the coming months.

The cast of 'Friends'
The cast of 'Friends'
The cast of Friends

 

The complete series of Friends is coming to Netflix Jan. 1, 2015, and I’m sure many of you are planning to spend your NYE hangover with the old gang.  Lucky for you, I started my personal Friends series rewatch in September, and finished last night, just in time to warn you of some of the pitfalls you may experience over the coming months:

1. Watching Friends means confronting 10 years of fashion mistakes.

Sadly this was not a trend.
Sadly this was not a trend.

“The Rachel” is only the beginning of this fashion shame. From the denim vests and cropped sweaters of season one to the handkerchief dresses of season 10, it is a whirlwind of everything you ever tried to pull off but could not. If you are like me, however, this is not so much of a warning as a promise. I especially liked being reminded of trends I’d forgotten, like those shirts with a pointless seam above the boobs, or that year when hard nipples were the must-have accessory.

2. The writers fail Phoebe time and time again.

Phoebe Buffay is a really cool person
Phoebe Buffay is a really cool person

Phoebe Buffay is a classic sitcom weird-o, and Lisa Kudrow is maybe the most talented member of the cast of Friends, but the writers didn’t know what to do with her other than make her say kooky things. The other characters get storylines and character arcs and romances and career changes and she gets to sing “Smelly Cat” a bunch of times. The best plot Phoebe gets is having triplets as a surrogate for her brother, and that was brought about by Kudrow’s real-life pregnancy. As the series winds down, it seems the writers suddenly realized that Phoebe’s been under-served, so they “make up for it” by quickly marrying her off to Paul Rudd. Because nothing says “character development” like filing joint tax returns.

3. Could this show BE any more homophobic?

It is funny because they are dudes and they are touching.
It is funny because they are dudes and they are touching.

The very concept of homosexuality apparently topped the writers “never not funny” list. Ross’s ex-wife left him for a woman. EDGY! THIS AIN’T YOUR GRANDMA’S SITCOM! Everyone thinks Chandler is gay when they first meet him. HILARS! Joey and Chandler’s friendship resembles a romantic relationship. HEE HAW. Chandler’s dad is a gay drag performer in Las Vegas. CAST KATHLEEN TURNER IN THE ROLE! BRILLIANT!

The gay “humor” on the show is probably its most dated aspect (and that includes all the denim vests!) and it’s more pervasive than I would have thought (especially in the earlier seasons). If you hate the idea of homosexuality as an alleged punchline, don’t rewatch Friends.

4. It is even whiter than you remember.

It's pretty much just Aisha Tyler's Charlie, and she's in nine episodes. In the last two seasons.
There’s pretty much just Aisha Tyler’s Charlie, and she’s in nine episodes. In the last two seasons.

“Drink every time a person of color appears on Friends” is a drinking game that is safe for pregnant women.

5. You will be forced to care about Ross and Rachel.

Ross and Rachel kiss.
Ross and Rachel kiss.

I have flames on the sides of my face level hate for Ross Geller. I was a tender girl of 12 when he first uttered the words “We were on a break,” and that was when I stopped believing in fairytale romance. Watching the show as an adult, you can see from the start there is no fairytale. Ross is a “Nice Guy” who makes himself feel better about being the reacher in his relationship with Rachel by putting her down for her intelligence. Their relationship falls apart entirely because of his jealousy, ostensibly of Rachel’s co-worker Mark, but he’s clearly most threatened by Rachel’s career. It’s a bad relationship. And Ross is pretty much a bad dude.

And watching Friends means signing up to ride this rollercoaster of toxic romance for 10 seasons. And you will get caught up in that ride sometimes, and you’ll hate yourself for it. The near-romance between Rachel and Joey was the only thing that had the chance to break the spell, but it was thrown under the bus so Joey could be single for his spinoff. Getting married couldn’t keep Ross and Rachel together. Having a baby couldn’t keep Ross and Rachel together. But the power of a series finale could.

6. It’s still really good.

Friends clapping!
Friends clapping!

If you can handle the above, then you’ll have a lot of good to take with the bad. The chemistry between the cast is as magical as you remember it, the writing takes sitcom tropes to their zenith, and now you’ll have a nice side of nostalgia to go along with it. So as you enjoy/tolerate the holidays, keep in mind that Friends is waiting for you on the other side of the New Year.

Happy viewing!
Happy viewing!

 


Robin Hitchcock is an American writer living in Cape Town, South Africa. Her favorite friend is Joey.

3 thoughts on “Read This Before You Rewatch ‘Friends’”

  1. i remember thinking wow rachel’s such a bitch
    (and deeply unfunny)
    “they WERE on an break”
    and its was her stupid idea

  2. Pingback: friends quiz

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