Breaking: Dame Judi Dench Is Not Entirely Perfect

Judi Dench’s charming, Oscar-nominated performance as the eponymous character carries with it a rather shaky Irish accent.

I’m trembling, deigning to disparage one of the greatest actresses in cinema, particularly in this fine performance. So let me clarify that this isn’t one of those embarrassingly overwrought or perplexingly unrecognizable attempts at an accent. The problem is she does not commit. There are moments when—to my admittedly untrained American ears—her accent is convincing. But those moments last about half a line of dialogue every twenty minutes of film. The rest of the time it is just Judi Dench’s (glorious, enviable) regular voice.

This is shaking my world-view. There is something Dame Judi Dench cannot do perfectly.

Judi Dench in 'Philomena'
Judi Dench in 'Philomena'
Judi Dench in Philomena

I finally saw Philomena, the sole outstanding 2013 Best Picture nominee on my list. Better yet, I saw it on my way to Ireland, a key setting in the film, where I’m currently enjoying an impromptu vacation.

These circumstances drew my attention to something rather shocking: Judi Dench’s charming, Oscar-nominated performance as the eponymous character carries with it a rather shaky Irish accent.

I’m trembling, deigning to disparage one of the greatest actresses in cinema, particularly in this fine performance. So let me clarify that this isn’t one of those embarrassingly overwrought or perplexingly unrecognizable attempts at an accent. The problem is she does not commit. There are moments when—to my admittedly untrained American ears—her accent is convincing. But those moments last about half a line of dialogue every 20 minutes of film. The rest of the time it is just Judi Dench’s (glorious, enviable) regular voice.

How is it possible that this woman is not perfectly perfect in every way?
How is it possible that this woman is not perfectly perfect in every way?

This is shaking my world-view. There is something Dame Judi Dench cannot do perfectly.

I am trying to spin this positively. If Judi Dench can craft a great performance, but one with a significant flaw, perhaps any of us can do great things (maybe not Dench great, but you know, our personal best) even if there is some part of it we struggle with. See, I write for the esteemed site Bitch Flicks, but I just ended a sentence with a preposition.

Here’s some things other than an Irish accent that I’m willing to venture Dame Judi Dench cannot do very well:

Surya Bonaly can do something Judi Dench cannot.
Surya Bonaly can do something Judi Dench cannot.
  1. A back flip on ice skates. Well, certainly not a back flip landing on a single blade, like Surya Bonaly.
  2. Juggle a dozen quail eggs.
  3. Speak fluent Xhosa.
  4. Fold a fitted sheet with one hand tied behind her back.
  5. Run a marathon in high heels and a straightjacket.
  6. Recite pi to 300 digits.
  7. Breed pandas.
  8. Explain the plot of James Joyce’s Ulysses.
  9. Communicate with ducks.
  10. Recreate every braided hairstyle she sees on Pinterest.
  11. Traverse the Darien Gap.
  12. Fold a piece of paper in half more than 11 times.
  13. Climb Everest without oxygen tanks.
  14. Score over 1,000 in Flappy Bird.
  15. Recall every meal she’s had for the last 20 years.
  16. Write her name on a single sesame seed.
  17. Catch a cloud and pin it down.
  18. Solve the P versus NP problem.
  19. Travel through time.
  20. Paint her nails without getting any on her cuticles.

So that’s that. Dame Judi Dench isn’t perfect. Her Irish accent in Philomena was inconsistent and weak. She PROBABLY can’t do the things listed above (at least not yet). But that’s OK. We’re all OK.

 

Robin Hitchcock is an American writer presently in Galway, Ireland. Her Irish accent is substantially worse than Judi Dench’s.

2 thoughts on “Breaking: Dame Judi Dench Is Not Entirely Perfect”

  1. Leo’s performance in Blood Diamond was fantastic, despite the accent. Jodie Foster in Silence of the Lambs has one of the most atrocious southern American accents I’ve ever heard but it’s still a great performance. Sometimes a great actor or great actress can make a poor attempt at an accent irrelevant.

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